Wow. This bullying thing never ceases to amaze me (in a bad way, but also in a confusing way).
I
grew up being made fun of; I was/am ADHD, was visibly overweight, and
was/am just... DIFFERENT ...than most people, which always creates a
sense of separation within young minds...
(I must make note here that I am so,
so
grateful for my different-ness, and I hope with all that is within me
that my children share in it. That might be my third-most desired trait
in my children.)
But while I was frequently dealing with
the negative attention given me, I don't think I ever felt victimized,
like something had been done to me and I couldn't neutralize it. I
suppose I felt more engaged, in much the same way that one might be
engaged on the battlefield. If someone said something mean or bad about
me, it was always apparent to me that A.) They were incorrect, and B.) I
understood why they were incorrect. This only became more true as my
intellect, education, and experience level grew. Unless of course they
were right about something about me, and just being a jerk about it by
pointing it out in an unhelpful way, at which point I just disarmed them
by confirming in the hearing of their audience that, yeah, they were
right about that thing they pointed out (example: that I was visibly
overweight at the time) and that I was working on it. After which I
would audibly applaud their powers of perception and congratulate them
on their use of their time and attention.
Now, when
I hear someone talk about being bullied, there's a part of me that
wants to switch places with them. And while I am ABSOLUTELY a giant
softy when it comes to sympathizing and empathizing with victims of
bullying, and while I absolutely want to contribute to their lives
whatever I can once I hear their story, that's not really what I mean
when I say that I wish I could switch places with them.
You see, I
really
hate bullies. Not the schoolyard kind that throws "Yo' Mama!" jokes at
you, having never met your mother... no, I hate "real" bullies. I
guess that I mean "those people who are bullies on an adult level,
regardless of their age." Basically anyone who intentionally abuses
authority. And when I say hate, I don't mean that I sit and stew over
how much I dislike the experience of having to interact with them,
either. No.
When I say that I hate "real" bullies,
I mean that whenever I am placed into a long-term situation with them,
it is pretty much a law of the universe that I am compelled to END THEM,
and that I cannot stop pursuing that goal until it has been completed
to my satisfaction. Not murder, obviously, that's ridiculous, and it
would prove nothing; they'd die believing what they wanted to. No, I
mean to
break them. I mean to make it very clear to them how
very powerless they really are, and I mean to de-throne them as
humiliatingly as possible. Rip from their desperate fingers every
vestige of power that they conceive themselves to possess over me or
anyone else.
Now I can understand what you might be
thinking: "Oh, big talk, big guy! But that's all a bunch of emotion and
wishful-thinking right there!" And I can sympathize with your
skepticism, the world is filled with braggarts and liars, and one can
only hear so many false claims before they become deaf to
all claims not backed up by empirical evidence. So let's get down to business, shall we?
Exhibit A:
My former boss. He was escorted out of our store in handcuffs, guilty
of a felony. Finally got caught stealing from our employer. Couldn't
have happened to a nicer guy. One of the worst human beings I've
encountered in my entire life. But more to the point, I had long been
seeking his being held accountable for what he had done and what he
continued to do, cleverly out of the sight and hearing of those who were
in a position to hold him accountable. This man knew how to avoid
being caught. Well, at least for about 9 years he did. And people just
avoided him as much as they could or left to work elsewhere, miserable
until the day they escaped. Not me. I will not suffer a bully to
continue on in their ways yet enthroned. It's just not within me to
allow it. I cannot articulate this intensely enough, I *hate* abuse of
authority. With every fiber of my being, I rage against it. And I will
throw myself headlong into whatever solution I deem best to ensure the
annihilation of the beliefs of those who willingly practice the abuse of
authority. And so there were many eyes upon him prior to and on the
day of his being caught. The weight of the claims I had made and the
weight of the claims I had encouraged fellow co-workers to make ensured
that there was no doubt; and that man will have a very, very hard time
finding a job worth having.
Exhibits B-Z, etc:
While I would relish going into them at length, this has already become
considerably more lengthy than I had at first estimated and so I know
that I shouldn't. Just know that, initially, I always seek peace,
understanding, and authentic communication to the best of my abilities,
and then only once I've made the bully publicly demonstrate that they're
not interested in peace, so that there is no reservation or doubt by
good folks about what I'm about to do, I will I set about whatever
course of action is legally possible to freaking
dropkick them out of that position of power that they find themselves in.
So
yeah, to make the remainder of this post as brief as I can, part of me
just really wishes that I could switch places with everyone who's ever
been bullied (hi, Scott Bakula!), just because I firmly believe in my
ability to overcome bullies and to do so in a way that makes him/her a
public example of why bullying is a bad idea.
There
are few things so gloriously sublime to me, on a personal level, than
to have someone who abuses their authority attempt to exert that
authority over me, because I never get any opportunities to really...
well... "engage" a person, metaphorically... in day-to-day life, because
there aren't actually very many straight-up "bad guys" out there:
everyone always has a story and a history that you have to be
compassionate about and understanding of if you're living as I believe
that you ought to. But no matter what story you have or where you come
from, there are just some things that you don't do, or else you
experience the consequences. There are still some things in life where,
if you mess with the bull, you just plain get the horns, no ifs ands or
buts.
Inflicting abuse onto innocent people is just one
of those things, y'know? One of these days, dudeguy, you're going to try
to bully that one person who doesn't conform to the rules of your
microcosm, and I hope with all that is within me that that person is me
or someone like me, because I am not just an anti-bully, I'm a committed
anti-bully, a committed anti-bully who is really good at what he does,
and I
will. not. stop. until you are engaged in the contextually-appropriate, metaphorical equivalent of laying in the fetal position on the floor crying yourself dry with only your back molars remaining.
Because that's the way that it always should have been. Because you
pushed the pendulum so far in the one direction, and never expected it
to come back into balance by being swung the other direction,
exactly as far as you pushed it.
Because
justice is a real thing, and not some fantasy of the weak and harassed.
Because it was
never our place to absolve ourselves of our individual responsibilities
to uphold and maintain a sense of, and belief in, justice in our society.
And because I was
made to eat people like you for breakfast.
So bring it. I'm hungry.
