Self-Respect

I learned something of exceedingly great importance tonight at my Bible Study: I don't respect myself enough. Not nearly enough.

And I think I have a good idea as to what has contributed to that lack of self-respect: my own parents, most particularly my mother, have never really respected me. And I've always loved them and valued their opinions to a very high degree, so it's no wonder that I don't respect myself when they themselves regard me in their minds as less than I am. Far, far less than I am.

I wonder how many things this has cost me? How many days and nights of doubt and uncertainty?

No matter. All I care about is that now that I understand this, what am I going to do about it?

I hope to prayerfully and carefully pursue making up for years and years of a lack of self-respect. And I hope to incorporate this knowledge into my formation of myself as an excellent person (as opposed to a merely adequate person).

Fascinating. I wonder how many other instances of "you don't realize this but here it is, and now that you know it you are way better off than you were" are locked away on a videocassette somewhere?

All I know is, that God continues to be awesome, and I hope and pray that I don't stray from Him as I move forward with what I've learned and act on it.