The Purpose in Life. The point of it all

God is awesome.

Let me just tell you all that before I get started. And I realize that you have no idea what those three words, composed of twelve letters of the english alphabet, are supposed to represent. You can only imagine based on what is in your head. But I'm still going to tell you all that and I'll let you decide exactly how wide you open your head to let the concept of "God is awesome" soak in.

Because He is really, phenomenally, and indubitably the most awesome person ever. And that's not just some whacked out Bible thumper or some crack-attacking Christian zombie saying that. I am currently a Philosophy major. While you may not understand the significance of that statement within the context of this journal entry, let me just put it this way: a man that I trust quite a lot said that if you could still believe in God after getting a degree in Philosophy, that "that'd be something." So when I say that God is awesome, I want you to understand that there is a lot behind that statement. It is an unbiased, quite questioning, highly skeptical person proclaiming that fact.

Now, onto the journal entry.

I was talking with my friend Matt about the purpose in having a particular career. I have recently been considering going into game design as a career. And part of me, a very powerful part of me, just could not get past the idea that maybe game design isn't quite the glorious and magnificent "life that would be worth living" that I would seek to have. And Matt, being well-intentioned, tried to get me to understand something, but just didn't have the words to get through to me. Did I mention God's awesome? Because He is -- get ready for this.

So, I'm still up into the night, wrestling with life, and the meaning of it. The role of purpose and the "point" of things, and even after speaking with Matt, I find no resolution to the dilemma. So I go to my Dad. I go to God. And I couldn't ask for a better Dad. He has this A.D.D. son that can be such a pain sometimes, and He knows just how to get through to him. So I'm praying, and I find myself out in the living room. I'm sitting on the couch, in the middle of the night, and I'm praying, and I just get a kind of feeling to turn on the TV. At first I suspect myself of getting impatient while praying, as my A.D.D. self sometimes gets. But then I realize that it's probably God leading me, and that I should just "go with the flow.," knowing that I'll be led away from it if it turns out that turning on the TV wasn't what I was supposed to do. And after watching an episode of Conan O'Brian, the purpose of which I still do not know, I remember that I had set up the DVR to record a movie that I hadn't seen yet that I'd always wanted to see. The title of the movie is Jack, and it stars Robin Williams.

Yup.

Remember the 'God is awesome' part? Yeah.... You see, I enjoyed the movie a lot, but it wasn't until the end of it that I remembered that I had gone into this movie as part of an effort to get some answers from my Dad/God. And at that point, things went *CLICK*. What I had not understood before, I understand now. How profound the lesson in that movie is. I doubt that those who made the film even realized the potency of the message.

Here I had been, wondering how I could possibly go make videogames for a living, and have all kinds of things go my way, when I knew that there was so much suffering in the world. I could sacrifice at least some small part of myself to go and help them, couldn't I? And all these other people that I've seen who hate their jobs, or at least find them unfulfilling, what about them? I'd feel guilty having what I consider to be just about the best life that I could have when they were all left behind, not enjoying theirs as much. This is the direct lesson that Jack taught me:Never ask a child what they want to be when they grow up. Ask the child WHO they want to be, the kind of person that they want to be, when they grow up. And the person asking should understand that, too, not just the child that they're asking. Do what you ENJOY doing, not what might serve some end somewhere or something.

What God taught me, through watching that film, and in addition to the lesson that the film directly taught me, was this: this is your life. It's the only one that you've got here on Earth, and it's far, far shorter than you think it is. Let's not even get into whether or not you'll make it to old age or not. Let's just assume the unlikely, and assume that you will make it to old age. Even still, it will be too short. Your life is this tiny, precious, fragile, easily breakable, and death-prone thing that is just so rare and valuable that it's hard to get your mind around it. How could it possibly be justified, through unselfish thinking, to believe that you should just enjoy life as much as you can, live, laugh, and love while you still can? Because while there is a world in pain out there, they're not your problem unless you want them to be your problem. You are not your brother's keeper unless you choose to be. And your life is so very precious, there is absolutely nothing wrong with living, laughing, and loving being the POINT of you being alive. Your PURPOSE. Life's purpose isn't an achievement of some kind - it's a way of living. It's about relationships, specifically, loving people. Loving God, loving yourself, and loving others. If you're on top of those things, then do. not. fret. All is well. You are blessed. Enjoy it. Don't shrug it off as though it will freely and easily come back to you after you abandon it. No matter how noble the idea, do not sacrifice your life unless you are absolutely sure that that is exactly what you WANT to do.

Go watch Jack. And pray. And come to know the meaning and the purpose and the context of your life.

Insight

Right now, I'm basking in a world of insight.

Right now God is showing me, or, perhaps, allowing me to see, a very deep insight into... everything. Life. Death. The point of it all. The context within which it all occurs.

Why is it a good decision to live a simple life, enjoying the laughter and company of your friends, bringing smiles and comfort to cold faces and wearied souls? Why not accomplish something great, something fantastic? Something that will be remembered?

Because every single one of those things are going to be taken away from you. They will not always be there, and you will not always be able to go back to them "some other time;" some time AFTER you've accomplished your big goals. They will die. Your friends, your family, you. All dead one day. All of this, here, on earth, is temporary. You won't have it for very long at all. In fact, it is most certain that you will one day say that however much you have had is not enough - you will want more, and there will be no more, here on earth. Good thing that death is a blessing, as Beren told Luthien, and that this is only a taste of what is to come. But until we stand inside of heaven's gates, we are left here. Earth. And what is the point of it all? Life. Living it. Enjoying it. Moving past the negatives so that you can enjoy the positives, because if you refuse to battle the negatives by overcoming them and encapsulating yourself in the postiives, then you will be living here on earth in wasted time. Time you could have and should have spent enjoying this majestic world that your Creator has built for you to enjoy. Here, we live in Him. He is what makes life worth living. Specifically? He is the only reason why there is anything beyond this life. And the same reason that there is something so much more beyond this life is the reason for life being able to be great.

Sorrow, death, pain, anger, and fear call this place home as well. They are our enemies. And we must defeat them. But we are not to turn a blind eye to God permitting their existence. They teach us. Embetter us. In ways that joy, and comfort, and contentment, and jubilance were not designed to. We are not perfect creatures, and our willful mistakes make it necessary for us to be disciplined. And that is a wonderful thing, discipline, because rather than allowing us to go further down the road to eventual despair, anger, ignorance and hate, we are slapped in the face so that the better parts of ourselves can recognize the lesser parts of ourselves, and make the choice to evict them. We are not meant to be mere mindless servants, blissfully ignorant and drooling as we testify to God's glory. We are meant to be more than angels. More than mere creatures of worship. We are meant for more. And our experiences here in this world enable us to travel further along that path towards becoming something more. He has called us "friend." That means so much more than you or I can possibly fathom at this moment. It's incredible, the meaning behind that. It's deep. Perhaps the deepest thing that there is.

His love for us is not just some Hallmark card. It's real. It's living. He's someone that you can have conversations with, someone with whom you can interact, you being yourself, and Him being Himself.

There is purpose in sorrow, and in despair, and in pain. Believe me, I know from extensive experience with them. And I can testify that the pain and the suffering, while wrong in its origins, was used by my Lord and Friend to make me better. So long as I was willing to play along. And even though I didn't know it at the time, all that I had to do to "play along" with this was to seek His face and never give up on His love for me, and THAT was what enabled me to become more.

I recently read something in God's Word that went something like this: "How does God want us to live our lives?" God's reply: "Live humble and quiet lives, refraining from doing what you know is wrong. And get to know Me better." And that initially disturbed/disheartened me. "Where's the fun in that?" I asked. What I lacked then, I believe, was the proper context within which to view God's answer. I wasn't thinking about the fact that time seems to be passing ever faster for me as I age. I seem to remember a time when a year was one heck of a long time, and now it seems to fly by like it was in a hurry or something. Your job, your career, your goals, it's all secondary. The primary is enjoying the life you live, for the right reasons. And coming to appreciate what is truly good; what God has placed there for you. We're all just passersby, here. Earth is a very temporary thing, you know. It was not made to last. Just a place for us to pass through on our way to becoming something more. SomeONE more. You will arrive, and you will leave. This place is just some level in a videogame that you enjoy getting through before you go out there and live your own, real, adventures. Where you really live. And those of us that know this are meant to share that information, not hold it back, from the people around us. Not everyone - just everyone that we can. The degree of your sacrifice is up to you. How much of your time you are willing to dedicate to going out and introducing as many people to God as you can before you leave this place, is up to you. People try to put the degree of this sacrifice in terms of wrong and right. That's not the correct way to do this. Just like a gift for a friend's birthday, it's up to you how much you give. Be cheap, or give it all. Or something in between. It's really up to you, and you alone. God made it that way. Yes, it is better in His eyes for you to give when you can, than to be lazy or otherwise choose not to in spite of being able, but that is not the same thing as right and wrong. It's just your choice.

Thank you, God, for giving me this insight. :-)

The First Entry

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